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Not So Social Media


     The internet and social media by extension are filled with so many fraudulent and shady characters, that even we as Nigerians don’t trust ourselves anymore. Most of us still have Facebook on our phones for birthday reminders, connecting with old friends, and the occasional heart-stopping friend requests from pesky older family members (how did these people even get on the internet?). Twitter is for the socially conscious. A place where everybody’s inner Maya Angelou is alive, a home where the real and fake woke, can co-exist in perfect harmony. Instagram is the new wave. Packing a punch with visuals, texts, and videos. That if left unchecked, can take up the better part of your day. Draining both your battery and data in the process. And finally, Snapchat is the over-entitled younger brother of Instagram. Man can’t really do as much but feels he deserves a little bit more attention, based on being a special needs child.

The main aim of most of these social media platforms is connectivity, infused with entertainment. But it seems we may have tilted a little bit more towards the entertainment side of things, which isn’t entirely bad in itself. Because let’s face it, life can get really dull sometimes, and we all need the laughs and good tidings social media carries with it. Certainly, we’ve all noticed most of them creating business branches e.g. WhatsApp for business, Twitter for business, etc. You would think that will make it better, but still, people don’t reply to direct messages except it’s the occasional and in some cases plenty ‘Setting P’ messages. Chances are, even if you send a regular direct message on any of these platforms, 8/10 times you won’t receive a reply.
Asides from the person who is always on their phone but still chooses to not reply to messages (I know people like this, especially girls), the second-worst person to send a DM to is a celebrity or someone that thinks they’re famous, it’s like waiting for an absolution that may never come. I see people giving them flak for this and I think to myself ‘let’s just cut them some slack’. Because seriously, can you blame them? If I had a couple of unknown persons in my DM asking me for money all week, I’d be a bit shifty about replying to messages myself. I know this because, I’ve been in DM’s, asking for help on one endeavor or the other. Keep in mind, not financial help, but targeted messages to individuals in fields where I need this help. 

Messages like ‘Hi, I’ve gone this far, and I’m stuck, can I get some intellectual help’ sort of messages. And most times, its response is always in perfect contradiction to the usual celeb mantra, which is ‘just send me a message and I’ll reply’… yeah right dude. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pissed, I’m just the sort of guy that likes to right a wrong and point out said wrong. In as much as it would be super difficult and tedious for a celeb, to comb through their direct messages, trying to separate the genuine from the fake while navigating the landmines of scammers left and right, it would still be nice to give a response and interact with people outside your social circle, even if just occasionally.

But still, I think people generally should be more responsive. I remember back in the day (that’s a lie, I was told) when celebrities would wade through tons of fan mail, painstakingly replying to almost everyone in a timely fashion. Now, waiting for a celeb to reply is almost the equivalent of waiting for hell to start freezing over (notice I said to start, this implies that they would reply, but It would just be later rather than sooner. Much later). People are glued to their phones but still can’t boast of any meaningful and genuine connections. It’s always so weird when you see a seemingly popular person with all the right links, do something drastic to get attention. Then you ask them why, and they reply, ‘I was lonely’. Even me sef that is just a regular Joe, I admit I’m guilty of stalling and not even replying to one or two directs, but as I always say ‘I’m under renovation’ so…
All in all, we can like to change our ways and connect as human beings. Before the age of robots, where an A. I named Sophia would forcefully help you connect by breaking your legs and informing you robots are superior to humans. Then, you would crawl to other humans for comfort, celeb, and non-celebs alike. Chill I’m just joking, LOL (or am I?). On that note, it’s very sunny out today, lets go out and make those tangible connections. Peace and Love.
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Bucket List


     I know what you may be thinking, ‘ here we go again’. Chill, I’m not planning on dying anytime soon, but I intend to live the best life I can possibly live. One of my biggest fears is having so many regrets on my death bed when I’m grey and old. Feeling sad and crying about how I didn’t explore enough, I didn’t love enough, I didn’t experience enough, I should have kept a more open mind bla bla bla. Nope, that’s not going to be me. I’ve resolved never to take anything too seriously and just roll with it (so to speak). Yes, this is your typical ‘I can’t come and kill myself’ moment, all work and no play kuku makes jack a dull boy. 

For the longest of times, I used to watch all those ‘Abroad life’ movies, and just marvel at how jejely they lived their lives.
Someone would decide to travel around, visiting places and taking pictures, another person would quit their job and relatively comfortable life to move to Brazil (its always Brazil, or somewhere in south America) to go and work with an NGO helping people, and I would be like ‘what a wawu’. I start asking myself questions like ‘how do they have it so easy, why aren’t they stressing? Then when I pinch me and bring myself to, I’m faced 1 reality and a question
1.To travel the world, I need money, and I’m like ‘Sheesh that’s a bust’.   
2. ‘Why would I leave my home to instead live in a mosquito and dengue fever infested place, is that really necessary? I don’t think so. 
But that’s the typical Nigerian in me showing face. The truth is, it’s necessary. And despite having to deal with realities like ‘no money’, we need to learn to appreciate the little things. As Nigerians we tend to concentrate on the harsh realities facing us, that in retrospect might be the very mundane thing stopping us from experiencing the best in life. I’m not going to go to certain places because I don’t like certain people, never. When I go here, I’m not going to try any new things, nope. 
I’m not liking one person because I’m from a different tribe/ethnicity, nahh not me. I want to live hard and love even harder. To me, the mark of a good story teller is being able to fill up a story with so much twists and turns, the story line is unpredictably sweet; even if the general synopsis is over flogged and you already know what’s going to happen at the end. That’s what makes whites different from us, they care more for the twists and turns, the unpredictable nature of the universe. A beautiful life and a sweet death should be the end goal, to be honest. Fill your life with so many good memories, you can afford to die in the moment. There’s a list of things I want to experience before I go, I know everybody has a bucket list, so here are a few of the things on mine.
I want to see the Eiffel tower in Paris at night.
Attend the opera in Italy with the love of my life (tuxedo in play, dinner gown and all, balcony view; putting all those small glasses to my face to have a better view, the whole 9 yards).
I want to go on that canopy walk in Ghana they say is the longest in Africa or so.
Bungee jump.
Sky dive.
Learn Spanish (Mexican Spanish, not that rubbish they speak in Spain).
Go to the Canadian Alps just to see mountains of snow, take pictures and be out. 
But make sure that in everything, I’m genuinely loving it and living my one life to the fullest.
I hope by now that you’re smiling and thinking about the things on your own bucket list. Be happy. Peace and love.
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Re-Orientation



     In my opinion, one of the biggest problems with Nigeria, is the mentality of Nigerians in Nigeria. Moving around, you will find that a lot of Nigerians carry around ridiculous mental frame works, that on close examination you start to realize that we are the cause of our own problems. I believe that as a person, my mentality is subject to evolution, growth and subsequently change.  You can’t negate the effects of exposure, exposure in this sense not primarily meaning traveling abroad, but meeting new people, reading books, engaging in meaningful dialogues where you listen more than you speak so you can learn a thing or two. 
Take the example of a woman in the 21stcentury, in 2018 (a year when feminist spirits are at an all-time high) who believes that when you go to visit a man, you owe him sex, and in the event of rape, there is actually no point in struggling/screaming or putting up any sort of fight, the best thing to do is to endure. And we wonder why rape and domestic violence cases keep increasing. You would be surprised to know that there’s an abundance of young women walking around with this caged-in defeatist mentality. Too many people are comfortable and complacent with the way they’ve been told to act, or a certain way they perceive that they should act because society says so. Mindsets that are caged in, mindsets that belong in the stone age. Change is constant, evolution is necessary for survival. 
We can’t continue to govern ourselves with the old frame work that our great grandmothers used, and their great grandmothers passed on to them, of which even those have been subject to change as they were passed down from generation to generation. Sometimes new scenarios arise, and we must adapt. Should we talk about, the fake shroud of morality blanketing the nation? People will openly bash someone for dressing in a certain way or promoting immorality but will go back to do things or watch porn in what they think is the comfort of their homes. I watched a video online of a Jehovah witness preacher that was caught pants down about to have sex with someone he went to preach to, we hear about pastors impregnating church members on a steady, juju been used even in church, but no, we would rather be sanctimonious and caste judgement on helpless victims. 
Re-Orientation is what we need. We must erase the mentality that we need to steal from the nations pockets for no reason other than ‘just because’. Patriotism is so dead in Nigeria, that even a new born baby who can’t talk is already wincing and strategizing on how he wants to leave the country. Can you blame him, when that’s all most Nigerians think about; greener pastures. Greener pastures aren’t a bad thing, but when we leave in search of greener pastures, can we come back with some meaningful knowledge or even if we don’t have the meaningful knowledge, at least just come back. I hate it when people infer that Nigeria is a wasteland and can never get better, so it’s a lost cause. I pity the fool. I believe so strongly in Nigeria, that if not today, one day. If we all decide to leave Nigeria who is going to fix it? Back in the day, it was mostly unskilled labour that migrated. More so, it was when you failed jamb or couldn’t get into school, the option of going abroad would show face as a last resort, now things are so A-Wire, the abroad life seems to be the only life. I could go on and on, but I know any wise person reading this would already know my ultimate destination. Let’s get out more, think broader, read wider, explore the world (explore the country), get into meaningful conversations, re-orientate ourselves.
I myself am under constant renovation, but every time I think about how much my thinking has changed now, I know I’m on the right path. Re-Orientate yourself and be a better person. Peace and Love.

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We Are Your Friends

    We are not as alone as we think. Reading this heading, I’m sure you assumed this was another Alien conspiracy theory. No, it’s not. In Life, we face so many difficulties, we start to believe we are alone or its peculiar to just us, so we slowly start to alienate ourselves. You even start to question your friendship ethics or the true allegiance of your friends. The truth is, if you don’t speak out and ask for help you would never know how many people are struggling with the same thing. 
Now, this is not about suicide, this is about the depression that may or may not lead to suicide. I spoke to a friend today who was explaining some of the problems he was facing and how his thought process was coping. Strangely enough, I kept finishing his sentences (and no, we aren’t in a relationship). It just goes to show, if he never spoke up, he would assume he was alone, not knowing at some point in my life I was going through the same thing. It’s easy for people to ask, ‘what do you like doing, what do you enjoy’? Never feel pressured to answer. If you don’t know you don’t know, if you’re not certain, that’s that about that.
I was and still am at a phase in my life where that question confuses me. I enjoy so many things, I want to do so many things and I believe I can thrive at so many other things. Societal standards are the worst, and the day I said to myself ‘ fuck it’ was the day I began to enjoy real happiness and freedom. Never feel tensioned to have it all figured out. If you’re trying and things just can’t get right, chill. Answers will come to you when they need to come, when the time is right. 
You are never alone, speak out, ask for help, learn to confide, you’d be surprised how many people are in the same situation or feel the same as you. Sooner rather than later, we would all be alright. Peace and Love.

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Rave Phase

    I don’t know if I’m the only one that finds clubs boring. The excessively loud music, people constantly rubbing shoulders and brushing against you, the forced conversations and the notion that you must ‘have fun’. To me, it’s all tiring as hell. I never have fun at clubs, I can’t really point out the reason why, because I think it’s a combination of many reasons. The mindset that you must go to the club to blow off steam is just stupid. 
There are so many other ways to blow off steam that are a lot less noisy and to be honest, soothing. I’m not here, saying clubs are entirely bad, and acting like I haven’t gone clubbing before. I’ve been to tons of clubs so that’s why I can tell you, you don’t want to go that way. I’m just saying I can think of a bunch of reasons why you should invest your time and money in other things.
For starters, you’re forced to spend money you most likely did not budget, because you must get a drink or drinks. And imaging you are going with other people, you might have to sort their bills out as well. Two; other people are in your personal space and breathing your air and three; seriously, people are forced into your personal space, go home and give it a rest. That may sound like me being very extreme, but I just can’t stand the idea of people I don’t know standing so close to me.
The cinemas are one way to go, you are guaranteed peace and quiet at a late night movie (if you love moving at night). Bars are another, you can try house chills with friends or maybe, going to church (just maybe). I can understand young adults and teens wanting to die at clubs, they’re at that time of their lives when the need to explore and experience these things is at an all-time high. But if you’re in your late 20’searly 30’s and you’re still clubbing like your life depended on it, you need to re-evaluate yourself. Peace and Love.

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The End

    With the latest public suicide that bled the Nigerian social media scene dry, you come to terms with the fact that everything is not as it seems; a lot of people are going through so much in silence. Because Nigeria and Nigerians by extension have adopted this all-time happy persona, doesn’t mean we don’t have our fair share of problems. As the expression goes, in a room full of people, the person with the brightest smile is probably dying or dead on the inside. 
On the outside looking in, who would have thought that a Doctor with a clean Mitsubishi Jeep, private practice and a seemingly perfect life would ever have any cause to commit suicide? His death just jolted us back to reality and reminded us of the saying’ all that glitters is not gold’. To be honest, you can liken Nigerians to rape victims, who instead of reporting their abuse or misfortune would rather suffer in silence out of fear of reproach ‘what will people say?’ We need to break free, talk to someone, cry every now and then, unburden ourselves whenever and however we can. 
Too many people are depressed, mentally unstable or vegetables on the inside. No problem should have the edge over you. Do not care what people say; people will always say, it is their job to say but it is your job to not care. There is nothing new under the sun, problems have existed since time immemorial. The truth of the matter is, all this is easier said than done. There are so many problems we are facing as a people and as human beings, it’s easy to think to yourself there is no way out. But there is a way out, there is always a way out. You never have to be alone, suicide hotlines have been setup with respectable bodies urging people to call them, but from one struggling human being to another, I know it’s easy to let go or to want to make it stop, but it’s not worth it. 
Think of the hurt your loved ones would feel, and the unnecessary pain your actions would force them to endure. Why is a Rugby line up almost impenetrable? Because they hold each other’s hands. Don’t give up, help is out there, I know it is. Stay up, Peace and Love.

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Chill Pill


       I Realized not too long ago that in Life, people treat you like shit (excuse my French) and get upset when you respond by equally treating them like shit (excuse my French again).  Even the good lord says love your neighbour as yourself, which I interpret as; whatever you would not like me to do to you, don’t do or say to me. I personally try to live by this principle, but at the end of the day I’m just a human being and sometimes I get pissed off as well (often).
I’m not one of those holier than thou guys, I don’t always take the moral highroad. I like to think I’m a stand-up guy, I tell it as it is always. It’s easy to say to someone ‘keep calm and don’t lose your cool’, but all that’s easier said than done. Sometimes it’s hard to keep your cool. The way Nigeria is set up ehn, even if you were Mahatma Gandhi and you were on a peace path, someone would always come and want to turn you to Shina Rambo. Mr. /Mrs. X&Y comes along and say something you consider stupid, act stupid, knowingly or unknowingly piss you off and then it all comes on top.
You’ll try to stay on your own and keep to yourself, they’ll still want to drag you out of your shell and talk to you, and before the end of the conversation, basically upset the hell out of you. I’m not saying anger is the way, so watch it. Don’t allow yourself to get carried away by stupid things that would in turn unravel a series of unfortunate events e.g. you get in a physical fight, you hurt yourself, you get into it verbally and words are said that can’t be taken back (no matter the amount of sorry offered). If you don’t like someone or something, tolerate them/it, it won’t last forever. To all the people that have pissed me off recently, I usually conduct monthly slaughter house style killings in my mind so you’re dead to me (that’s a lie, I’m just fronting. Apologizing usually does it for me). 
I always say that you owe an explanation only to the people you love, so if I’ve hurt you ever, I’m sorry. Believe it or not, I’m only human (no matter how god-like my features may seem) and all I can say is sorry.  Peace and love.

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Old Notes


      The Nigerian music industry has gone through such a change its almost unrecognizable. If you are an 80’s kid like me or even if you’re from the early 90’s, you would notice that the sort of music we listen to has evolved over time and morphed into such a beautiful thing. I remember the artists and way of life back then, music was everything to most people, most especially loners and ASBO kids like me. 
What ever happened to people like Triple B, Lexy doo, Jazz man Olofin, Sasha P, Clench, konga, Kelly Hansome, etc. Those people gave us bangers back then. I remember that year of the big cowboy belts you could customize (I could have killed for one of those), and lest I forget, the custom T-shirts with a car plate number. This nostalgia today ehn, I can almost smell the body odour from all the jam-packed house parties I attended back then.
One time, my best friend and I were obtained (if you’re street savvy and woke in the naija sense, you’ll understand what I mean) and almost thrown off the roof of a rooftop house party, back in 2000. The scene has changed so much, with new artists coming out every day and all trying to make a name for themselves. 
In the midst of all these, let’s not forget the people and songs that help to put the scene on the map. When you have the time, listen to 2faces True love, Lexy doo’s Baby Ske Ske, Ruggedman’s Baraje, Sasha P’s Adara, OJB and kc Presh’s Pretete, konga’s Baby konga, Kelly Hansome’s True Love, Maga don pay, Free me, Dee b’s Collabo, Ay.coms Pass me your love, klever jays koni koni love, Igboro ti daru, Olu maintain’s Jedi jedi, Duncan Mighty’s Ijeoma, Obianuju, Styl plus’s Olufunmi, Terry G’s free madness and a whole lot more. Basically, anything that tickles your fancy.
 If you can, drop a comment on their twitter from time to time, if you see them on the street; salute a king, so they don’t feel too lost in this new music wave. Peace and Love.

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Savings and Loans

      I don’t know about you but for me, saving money is hard as nails. It’s so annoying that once you get to a certain age where you are perceived as a young adult, you’re supposed to get into school, open an account, start saving for your future and get your life in order basically. Gone are the days of ’kolo’ when saving money was so easy, it didn’t even seem like hard work. It’s all becomes so very advanced and clustered, because as an adult you are required to do certain things, and I find myself saying repeatedly to myself ’I don’t want to adult anymore’.
Most of us instead of taking our money to the bank, would rather put it at the back of our wardrobes or underneath our clothes, under our beds and pillows, thinking this way we can keep track of it better, while making the same unanimous promise to ourselves ‘I will not spend this money’ (Yea right).If you are a foodie like me, that is just the worst thing you could do to yourself. By the days end, I’ve already indulged myself in Digestive chocolate, kilishi and the occasional Mr Cream yogurt, and somehow, I keep complaining and wondering why I don’t have any money. 
To be very honest, saving money simply requires discipline and dedication. You don’t need to do certain money consuming things, deny yourself of some luxuries you would otherwise partake in; stay away from habits that would strain your finances. Instead of frivolous spending, there are tons of schemes that act as a makeshift way of saving your money and getting a profit at the same time e.g. MMM, Donation Hub etc. Saving money is the first step to securing your future, it shows that you have plans for yourself and you are working or rather saving to achieve them. 
This 2017, lets save a little more, stop unnecessary buying, pull out your sweet tooth with pliers, stay away from all that beer, think twice before you spend someone’s salary on that shoe or handbag. What’s the word? Spend less, save more. Peace and Love.

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Contentment

       A lot of people mistake contentment for being complacent, I believe they are two different things. Being contented as we know, is being satisfied with whatever you have. While being complacent in my opinion is being unduly (for lack of a better word) smug with your achievements and not striving for more. Are you getting the picture of how these two things seem similar but are not the same? You tell the average person you are contented, and they assume you are lazy and unwilling to progress for more. 
 
So many people zombing around, sad and constantly wanting more or giving themselves sleepless nights over what they can’t/don’t have. I believe in every situation, we should always try to take away the positives and just leave the negatives. For me, if the positives don’t want to come easy, I drag them out begging and crying because I refuse to be sad. Lack of contentment = wanting what you don’t or can’t have, which invariably = head and heartache, which = a very unhealthy state of mind and body generally.
 
Your salary is not enough? Curb your excesses. You really don’t need to go to the club every Friday (seriously, who even does that?) You don’t need all those girlfriends/boyfriends, expecting you to call them (topping up your phone with credit constantly is expensive), you don’t have a car or money for Uber; no need to pose, enter BRT (those blue ones), they are lovely. I could go on and on about things you should or shouldn’t do but let’s not. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus on what you do and try to achieve more for yourself. Set goals, be determined to achieve those goals, you need to want to have a better life than what you already have.
 
No one or nothing holds the keys to your happiness but you. Is it better to cry in a Bentley instead of in a bus, err YES; but make do with what you have while trying to get the Bentley or consoling yourself with the picture of a Bentley framed in your room. You’re fixed on the things you don’t have so you are losing the ones that are being thrown your way. In a race, every runner focuses on himself and his lane. not that of the next man. You will be fine, let life run its course. Peace and Love.