Baby daddy issues

I’ve been wondering, does the system of law still work in Nigeria? Since we’re on the issue of marriage, relationships, and baby mamas- I felt it would be nice to share this one and hear your thoughts. Asides men like Adam who take it upon themselves to do their due diligence by catering for their children Read here, does court-mandated spousal or child support actually work in Nigeria?

A couple of my friends think it does, and I beg to differ. I think its split down the middle: in the sense that 50% of people do and the other 50% don’t. The legal system out here is mighty flawed. What are we talking about, even musicians don’t respect their contracts. It all ties to the court, because if you fear the binding principles of a contract which is backed by law, and subsequently fear the enforcement or consequence that will arise from breaking that law- you would honor that contract. A lot of men are going around all willy nilly getting married, giving birth to children and divorcing their spouse without fear of consequence or even giving thought to the child’s upkeep and whatnot. 
A lot of Nigerians would rather resort to a faux amicable understanding between the father and the mother as opposed to being safe and settling in court. Faux because they never follow through with what was agreed upon anyway. Over the years, more men have been taking advantage of this flaw in the system. I know of men who are working around freely, not paying a dime in spousal support despite the court telling them to do so. No law enforcement. Even when you go to a police station to complain, the policemen never take it seriously. They smirk and tell you to understand and listen to your husband- obviously collecting bribe from Okada riders and people without driving license is more important.  Asides the court not working, we have more illiterate artisans than people in actual white or blue-collar jobs. 
Are you going to tell the carpenter on the street that you just sued him? That’s if he even understands what the word ‘Sue’ means. The best you can do is report and arrest him, but best believe he will be out in no time after bribing the officers. It’s even farfetched to talk of things like restraining orders when ordinary spousal support is a long thing. Adam’s case Read here is one of “a few good men”. There are good women out there suffering because irresponsible men have put them in harm’s way, having to take care of their child to the tune of 70% because their ex has refused to contribute in any way shape or form other than being a sperm donor. I may be wrong or maybe right, share your thoughts.
Peace and love.
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2 Replies to “Baby daddy issues”

  1. It's crazy you know, but how exactly can we help to educate men and make them understand that decisions they make always have effect on their children? Whatever the reason for leaving the marriage is, or whatever your "Why" is for not ending up with your baby mama should not affect your relationship with the child.

    I would suggest that the next generation should be raised responsibly because the society at large begins from family.

  2. Thank you for your comment. Just as you said, its about education. Not just educating the next generation, educating the present one as well. Let the men know that they have an obligation. Mothers talk to your sons, friends talk to your friends. Educate someone. Abroad, they live in the fear on pre-nups, child support and spousal support. But here, we give more credence to other things while negating family life. Forgetting that the first place a child learns anything is the family unit. I hope you've read today's post?

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