Posted on

G Check

    This morning, I was going to write about how this generation is the most socially conscious (woke) of all. I was going to write exactly this;
 “If you ask me, I would say this is the most socially conscious and book smart of all the generations. Granted, we don’t have the Einstein’s and the Edison’s, but you have versatile people with multiple academic degrees and endeavors. Everything is on the rise, people are starting to stand up against the norms of religion (which may or may not be a good thing), feminist spirits are at an all-time high, lots are owning and expressing their individualism in whatever way they choose. It feels like there’s a mental and ideological revolution coming so the wind of change is blowing, and I’m so happy that I’m here for it. So much expressionism in alternative art, music and other works of life”.
 I intended to kick off with a bang, just like that. Undeniably as a race, we’ve had so much success thus far. But it’s still a wonder how with all our technological advancement, people can’t go to a library or get on the internet to find out facts. In 2018, some people still think Nigerians can’t and don’t speak English. It is also widely believed that in Africa, we ride on elephants and converse with fire and sign language. Are you serious?  
American rapper JCole was in Nigeria over the weekend for a concert, and Instagram sensation ‘the shaderoom’ which is based in America but owned by a Nigerian had its comment section filled with so much rubbish Like; ‘Do they (Nigerians) understand what he’s saying’, with other similar ridiculous statements. So, I’m thinking to myself; at the end of the day, we might not be as woke as we think we are. If the technologically advanced and information-savvy ‘West’ can be as ignorant as this, and at this point, you can’t read a book or conduct quick research or Google to find out more about a continent, country, or people, then you’re stupid. 
Wait, so all the Nigerians that are trooping to Europe and North America, are not representing us well when they get over there? Are they going around acting all local, and wearing Agbada, sweater, head warmer, and Timbs at the same time, while speaking ‘mubulu mubulu’ like cave men? The idea that Africa is a country and not a continent is amazing. If you think, this is just the uneducated ones, even the so-called educated ones think like this too. Remember that French journalist that asked Chimamanda if there were libraries in Nigeria, alluding that we didn’t know how to read? Ignorance like bad breath.
 There’s a finite amount of still underdeveloped civilizations in the world and they are properly documented. Yes, media portrayal has a lot to do with shaping people’s perception, but in a bid to be better, people need to improve themselves outside what they see on television. Africa is not a country, and we fear Lions just like everybody else. I’m not going to say we have this and that, every civilization has its strong points; but it won’t hurt to get your facts right. Peace and Love.
Posted on

Mindless Behaviour

    I’m a big advocate for integrating people with disabilities into the society, but lately I’ve been seeing a lot of disabled people engaging in random and dangerous activities they shouldn’t be doing by themselves. Being a self-conscious person, I’m aware of the pressure that accompanies not wanting to be the oddball and wanting to blend in; but sometimes you must face the reality that you’re a person living with disability, and open your arms to whatever help is offered. Sometimes, I see blind people (completely blind people), roaming the street UN-chaperoned and going about their everyday life like the rest of us, and all I’m thinking is ‘WTF’. Saying ‘this is wrong’ is an understatement, and the word ‘wrong’ doesn’t even begin to cover the half.
A couple of months ago, while I was driving (thank God I wasn’t speeding); I almost knocked down this blind woman who was trying to cross the road. Initially, I didn’t realize she was blind, I was just angry as to why someone was fidgeting on the main road. My heart broke when I saw her, one arm outstretched trying to feel for something, and the other clutching her guide stick which she was using to feel the ground. She was like a deer caught in headlights and didn’t know what to do. She was looking around, obviously dazed by the shouts and horns honked. I expected someone standing at the bus stop to go help her cross the road, but nobody did. I’m not going to be self-righteous and say I helped, I wanted to but I didn’t. All the cars behind me had to stop because I came to a complete halt to allow her cross safely.
Don’t these people have families? Who is that unconcerned twat of a family member, that would allow their blind aunt or mum roam the busy streets of Lagos alone? Our lack of empathy and selfishness is repulsive. Buses zooming off for people in wheel chairs because they don’t have the patience to get them into the bus and put their chairs at the back. The government and the Nigerian setting doesn’t even help matters. The least we can do is put ramps in place to allow some of these people function properly. I believe in an equal share of blame between every party; in this case the government and the families. 
If you have a disabled person in your family, let them feel included. Always ensure that there’s someone around them to assist at every time. Yesterday I saw a blind man at super busy Oyingbo asking people for directions. I kept thinking to myself, what if a train hits him by mistake or he gets into some sort of accident? We need to stop seeing them as beggars, some are not. Some just want to feel normal and be included like everybody else. But before that can be done, steps must be taken by every party involved to ensure the environment is safe, secure and welcoming for them. Peace and Love
Posted on

Zombie Oh Zombie

    Christianity is such a dicey subject to discuss, loads of people are very passionate about it and rightly so. Lately It’s been taking hits left, right and center, which I attribute to the people that misinterpret its teachings. Having said that, I respect what Cool FM OAP Freeze is trying to do, but I don’t envy him one bit. Amazingly, I think people created the monster he has become; because initially, he was trying to address the church not playing a more important role in the economic development of the country as opposed to collecting so much tithes and offerings from congregations.
But now, his messages seem more antagonistic and scattered. I can’t tell if he’s trying to start a cult or correct social ills anymore. In a way, our criticism created the ‘monster’ he has become; just like when the catholic church started speaking out and persecuting scientists (of which some were church members) for their scientific beliefs. You will find that freeze is not the first person in history to stress the churches role in the economy. Over time, the west went through its own period of enlightenment (so to speak), which is responsible for the paradigm shift and decline in church attendance. 
On one hand, I believe you don’t need a beautifully decorated and designated place to talk to your heavenly father, the keyword here is ‘Father’, but then again, even the Bible has records of people building beautiful synagogues to worship God, so to me that’s fine. Yes, the hypocrisy of some pastors is astonishing. I mean Yeye dey smell. The doctrines they come up with is something even Jesus himself would be surprised about. People are led so blindly that they have all forgotten to worship God as opposed to worshiping the pastor. Saying the only way Nigeria can move forward is with prayer is just meh. No, if we work at it, Nigeria would change for the better. But if we think praying for it is the way out, sadly I can assure you that is not going to work.
 
This fault is sometimes not the leadership (the pastor), it’s the followers (the congregation and we Nigerians ourselves). I went to a church recently where through his teaching, the pastor was talking about being practical and not overly sanctimonious. And I realized; some pastors actually warn people to do the right thing, but its left to you. Believing in God and practicality aren’t enemies, you just need to strike a balance between the two. As that Yoruba proverb goes (I’m not saying it in Yoruba because I can’t), the dog that is going to get lost never hears the whistle of the hunter. Typical case of Nigerians; we are getting lost but not heeding warnings, because the warnings are out there. 
Now, I don’t know if you won’t go to heaven without tithe like someone said, but never forget that you can only see God with your own eyes. Peace and Love
Posted on

Ka Sha Madupe

    Yo, the inequality in this life is something else. I recently saw someone I least expected, picking up clothes from the dustbin. keep in mind it wasn’t a very dirty bin, but still a bin non-the less. Ever since ancient Egyptians thought to separate themselves from each other according to social status and income, classism has been in existence. But you tend to forget these things if you’re not financially struggling, and witnessing that ‘dustbin pickup’ jolted me back to reality.
 As they say, ignorance is bliss and what you don’t know won’t hurt you, so if you’re not fully aware; you will walk around in a haze, somewhat unconcerned. The gap between the rich and the poor is so massive in Nigeria, the middle class has almost been completely erased. Although you still have loosely scattered droplets of people that you can refer to as middle class, but it’s either you’re rich or poor. In this same world and country, you have someone that drives multiple cars while you also have a relatively properly dressed person picking from the bin to survive.
 
If someone had told me as opposed to seeing it myself, I won’t have believed. It’s easy to say ‘I’m never going to take anything for granted from now on, but how many times have we all said that to ourselves and still grumbled about one thing or the other? You know that statement ‘thank God we don’t look like what we’ve been through’, have you ever imagined if we all looked like what we’ve been through? You’d have people walking around, barely clothed with the skin falling off their bones. Then you will realize the only thing helping us are the clothes on our backs.
 I always tell myself that my thanksgiving should be more than my prayer requests, and I like to think I adhere to this policy a bit, but if you set up a scale and put the things you’re requesting for on one side, and some major things other people may be requesting for on another, you will find that realistically yours has no weight and all you have to do is just thank God for life. While some people are fretting about traffic, some are worried about not having any money for transport. While some are praying they stop bombing their homes and hoping they don’t have to walk the equivalent of 3 years to fetch clean water. No matter how small what you have is, never take it for granted. Your loose end might be someone else’s life saver, always be thankful to God for providing. You could always be way worse. Peace and Love
Posted on

Decisions Decisions Decisions

    Not too long ago, I used to believe sex within the confines of marriage was safer and a lot more secure than sex before marriage, because it meant you both would be inseparable after the fact: asides being legally bound together, you would also be bound together religiously. If you notice, I said ‘you both’ because I don’t want us to get any misconception that only men cheat or play women, women are just as devious as men. It’s always intriguing to see someone still under the illusion that women are 10 out of 10 times the victim. 
That been said, 7 out of 10 times men are at fault, and there’s a lot of savage guys out there so people automatically assume once a guy sleeps with you while dating, it’s done and dusted. Funny enough, the same society we base our decision making and thought process on, has shown us that even when you’re married, and he sleeps with you, if he wants to go; it’s sayonara.  Divorce all over the place, and when you look at the timelines of some marriages you just marvel. Abroad, you see duration periods like 5 months, 8 weeks etc, at least in Nigeria we are still trying with the 1 and 2 years marriage duration. Or have we gotten to the 3 weeks one yet?
I think what we should be striving for is integrity. Think about it. Marriage doesn’t have to be a safety net or an excuse to have sex or not to have sex, if you both agree to do what you said you were going to do and stick to the plan, that shouldn’t be a problem. Because if you sleep with a guy you’re not married to, only integrity is stopping him from marrying you after sex because nothing changes. Your worth doesn’t reduce (at least to any sane guy it doesn’t), you don’t smell different, and contrary to popular belief, it has no effect on your bride price. The thing lacking is the integrity that backs a concise decision to stick with you regardless of whatever. And the same goes for people that leave relationships without sex. In my experience, if you really want to be with someone, sex is usually always the last thing on your mind. Kidnapping them and putting them in a glass where you can just admire and adore them daily comes way before sex.
It’s strange when you see people that leave a relationship because of lack of sex and believe once they get married all that would change. Except you intend to beat your wife like a drum that’s just funny. Because even in marriage, there are times you don’t have sex for long periods (I’m not married, but 100% of married people will tell you to prepare your mind for no sex periods). So, does that make not having sex an open invitation to cheat? I try to be a real stand up guy, if I’m going to stick with you, ill tell you and try to, but if I don’t intend to or I’m not sure, I’ll tell you what it is right away. I can’t give myself credit like that because sometimes, I fail woefully. Let’s try to say what we mean and mean what we say (whatever that means). Peace and Love.
Posted on

Here and Now

    It’s super annoying how we remember people only after they’re dead. Then we shower them with the praises and accolades we never offered while they were alive, yet somehow see it fit to acknowledge them only after they die. Dead People steady getting recognized for what they did while they were alive, leaving you to ask yourself the question ‘do I have to die to get a little love around here’? On one hand it’s a beautiful way of showing your works impact and longevity, but on another hand, it would really be great to show people love and give them their coin or credit while they’re alive as opposed to ‘in-death’. 
Take the example of Actor Heath Ledger, who strangely got recognized for his body of work only after his death in 2008. The talk was so loud back then, he was winning awards left, right and center. And it got me thinking; Was acting not his main career or was he in some other line of work I didn’t know about? Heath wasn’t an A-Lister, he was a C-Lister if I’m being generous. Nobody rated him highly for anything. Yes, he was a good actor, but he just wasn’t recognized. More focus was placed on the Brad Pitt’s, George Clooney’s and other B-Lister’s. So, the out pour of ‘Love’ when he died was just odd and extra. You could have shown him that love when he was alive is all I’m saying. Not wanting to tow the same line, Nigerian singer Brymo issued a stern warning to Nigerians a couple of months ago, telling them to recognize him as the best while he was alive and not wait until his death. Although him being the best maybe debatable to an extent but I get his drift. 
In essence, we should love the ones we have while they are here, when they will know and appreciate the fact that we celebrated them. If someone does something for you and you appreciate it, let them know while you still have them. My dad died when I was young, about 7; but one thing I remember he was particular about was gratitude. He was so hell bent on me saying thank you, he would take gifts away from me if I didn’t say thank you properly or if I didn’t say thank you again the next day. Then I used to think ‘this man is so weird’, but growing up with that ‘grateful’ mentality, I see its totally necessary, because gratitude equals appreciation. Always say exactly how you feel about a person; if you want to give them props, do it while they’re alive and can see the effects of their work. 
We are so used to condemning each other as opposed to commending each other and lifting each other up. Looking at the love relationship between most parents and their kids (not only in Nigeria), you find that there’s not enough love going around. Fathers not being able to verbally tell their kids they love them and kids not being able to do the same, so they end up becoming emotionally caged adults themselves. It’s a cycle I’m telling you. The reality is, you could lose your loved ones at any time. It’s good to let them know you appreciate them while they’re still here. Peace and Love.
Posted on

Crime Watch

    You may think I’m being funny, but there are so many things that are crimes we let slip under the rug. I’m not even going to beat around the bush or mince words today.  Let’s start with the careful application of Make-up to a woman’s face in such a way that the person you find with make-up on is totally different from the same person you see without the make-up, this should be a crime. If not for the fact that we don’t want to confuse Mary Kay with cocaine, make-up should have been called wonder dust. These days, it goes far beyond getting a face beat and borders on sorcery. You’ll see someone that has Ibadan tribal marks with a super clean face, all thanks to makeup; isn’t this deceit? Someone with black spots and pimples will be looking fresh like a baby’s ass. 
I even saw one recently, where a woman that should be at least 67 looked 24 years old, all because of make-up. I don’t know what that is, but I’m certain there’s a crime in there somewhere. It has gotten to the point that when you see what some makeup artists can do, it’s almost the same thing as wearing a balaclava on your face as a disguise. It might be funny now, but not so much when one woman robs a bank and gets away with it, all because she took her make-up off and nobody could recognize her anymore. I honestly think this witchcraft should attract some years in prison because it constitutes impersonation. I’m very sure one of the main reasons why half of the women that get toasted at Owambes or clubs can bag a man is because of make-up. Imagine carrying Barbie home only for her to clean her make-up off then you see princess Fiona from Shrek staring back at you, the shock-the horror. 
Secondly, looking into another person’s phone in a bus should be punishable with lashes of the cane. Asides from being rude, it’s rude and simply very rude, have I said rude? Sometimes, I know the lights attract us, but at other times, you’ll see some people that are just plain nosy and annoying. The worst is when they start giving you all those judgemental looks like they’re your daddy. Uncle, If I decide to watch porn on my phone, how is that your business? My chat is not your chat, and just because you see a fine picture doesn’t mean me and you suddenly started sharing the same phone. People act as they’ve never heard the word privacy before.  
Also, getting pregnant without your spouse’s consent should be a crime. If you both haven’t had a discussion where you agreed on that, don’t do it. Save yourself the Many-Many stories in 9 months’ time and just wait till both of you are ready. Do you know that in some states in the US, it’s a crime to knowingly infect someone with HIV without their consent? And it bags some serious jail time too. Obviously, murder is a crime, but there should be some conditions attached to it.  Conditions like; you can take a person’s life if he or she has angered you more than 5 times, if you have warned said individual on 3 occasions, on the 4th, you can dispense with his/her life. 
Farting in confined spaces, seriously why? Everybody suffers here including you the farter, so I don’t get it.  Finally, wearing too many bright colors should get you some real jail time, none of that fashion police rubbish. Basically, let us just respect ourselves and operate with sense. Peace and Love.
Posted on

Identify and Re-locate

    Sometimes it’s easy to think you don’t fit it in or have a place anywhere, but I think you just need to figure out where you should be and carve a niche for yourself. Everybody has a place and a role they’re supposed to play. Too many people are at the wrong place, where as they need to be somewhere else.  A month ago, I was at a Nollywood gathering a friend took me to (a couple of script writers and actresses) nothing major, and we were talking about all the hatred and backstabbing that goes on in the industry.
The name of a certain popular actress came up, she’s an ‘I just got back’ (someone that just relocated to Nigeria from the abroad) but seen as she’s been in Nigeria for a couple of years now, I don’t think we can refer to her as an ‘I just got back’ anymore. She recently got married to a very popular singer/ actor in a south African destination wedding, and if you’re smart enough, you would already know who I’m talking about. Anyway, they were talking about how other actresses hated her and how she was attracting a lot of industry animosity because she came and stole the show, while some other actresses had been on the scene for quite some time with little or no success. Immediately she arrived, everything fell into place for her, and she seemingly got it all. Some say she hasn’t paid her dues because she didn’t slug it out at the bottom of the barrel for years but is now the leader of new school Nollywood and has the ‘prince charming’ to boot. 
But all that aside. Still towing that same discussion, someone gave the example of another actress, who immediately realising she couldn’t compete and keep up with the new school actresses, left mainstream (cinema) Nollywood, settled in the east and started making all those old school type village setting Nollywood movies. Now that’s a proactive person. Sometimes we don’t need to be where we think we should be, our sights might be set on one thing, but life has other plans for us. The person went as far as saying that she is so popular, she can effortlessly fill up a stadium in Owerri with fans that love her. So as opposed to feeling displaced or not involved, we just need to find out where we should be and own it. At every point in life, there is a need for everybody. 
It’s like how they say you can’t have joy without pain or the sun without rain. Life is a chain reaction, and everything leads to something.  We are all links in that chain that have a part to play whether we realize it or not. The beauty of life is sometimes, you don’t even need to gear up for a role, you subconsciously take it on even while thinking ‘I’m not ready’. So, when you’re finally ready for it, it’s already done and dusted. Everybody needs everybody, and everybody is useful; maybe not in the position they are presently but they still are. Identify where you need to be and be there. Peace and Love.
Posted on

Attitude Adjustment

    It’s easy to always think other people are the problem and apportion blame in the event of failure.  But every once in a while, I like to examine myself to make sure that I’m in the clear. Truth be told, sometimes the problem is actually other people, especially when it comes to me; because let’s face it, I’m a very cool dude and I can do no wrong.  Jokes asides, if we all approach this from a sort of ‘Responsibility taking’ perspective, one in which everybody has equal share of the blame in the outcome of something, I think we would all get along just fine. 
Even in relationships, everybody pointing fingers and giving reasons for the breakup; never stopping to think if they themselves were the cause of the issues to begin with. Friendships aren’t left out either. Yes, friends grow apart, but with the alarming rate some are going cold, you can’t help but wonder what or whose fault it is. I’m really not one for the ‘he said she said’ antics, but what if the other party wasn’t actually the cause of that breakup, and it was you? When we hear the saying ‘you let yourself go’, it really doesn’t apply to only weight. It means everything, even conversations. 
I remember this one girl I was kind of dating a while back, she liked another guy but liked me as well; so, we were on a ‘kashimawo’ level. At some point I thought I was winning her over, when all of a sudden, she broke everything off and left me with my mouth wide open wondering why. A year later, I stumbled on recorded phone calls between that girl and I, and I thought to listen for old times’ sake. The first few recordings were great, I had her laughing effortlessly, she had me giggling too. I mean, it was great stuff, but I can’t say the same for the remaining calls. 
Much later, the conversation pace declined making it all a drag and frankly a bore. Even me myself I was surprised at how I could let myself go so much, I wasn’t making an effort anymore. We had gone from long interesting conversations to ‘hi, how was your day?’ With awkward silences and irrelevant chatter. Really, it’s no wonder why she left me. Checking ourselves allows us to stop blindly blaming others, it gives us closure, and it’s also a giant step in realising we are not perfect while beginning to repair ourselves.
You and your attitude might be the reason why that friend doesn’t rock with you anymore. That relationship failed? Have you asked yourself what part you had to play, and what you could have done differently? I don’t do it all the time, but I give myself attitude adjustments occasionally. Maybe you should to. Peace and love
Posted on

We dont know what we dont know

    Do you ever just sit back and marvel about how amazing life is and what mysteries the world holds? Human beings have progressed to such a level that through technology we believe we know everything and are masters of the universe. I’m a quirky facts sort of guy, so I’m easily intrigued by seemingly mundane  information that some may deem irrelevant and simply overlook. 
Most of us use the internet for almost everything we do. If you’re a social media person, it would appear that your life revolves around the internet. But do you know that with its current use, 90% of the internet still remains under-utilized by humans, as most of us access just about 10%. Asides the dark web, there are so much un-indexed  sites on the deep web that standard web search engines can never access so you cant just stumble on them. Its crazy when we think we know so much, only to find out that we know nothing. Lol, it’s like that time when you bought a new phone, read the manual from cover to cover and thought you knew all its uses only to find out that your friend was using the exact same phone in another way you didn’t know. 
In as much as the 10% brain usage theory has been busted as a myth, wouldn’t it be amazing to think of the numerous functions our brains could have if we use it to its full potential. Just like the movie limitless; we could have Tele-kinetic powers, or like Lucy; we could be super computers, or we could just self-destruct like in the tragic ending of both movies. If only life was a movie. According to NASA, the planet Jupiter can contain 1,300 earths; a little piece of trivia which i find surreal. Just think about all the land mass, with population crisis and imminent global warming problems being solved by moving to space. 
Yes, Jupiter is a lot denser that earth, its majorly filled up with gas, and is colder than 3 North poles, basically inhabitable, but let that information just float around in your head for a bit. What other secrets do the constellation hold? Where else is habitable? Where else can life exist? I heard the good men and women at NASA are running final tests on Mars to see if life can grow on that planet, so let’s wait and see. Have you ever thought to yourself that we might not be the only civilization out here?  What if like Anti-realist film director Ron Howard who created The Grinch’s Hooville in a drop of snowflake, or writer J.k Rowling’s that created Harry potter’s world in a train station platform, also suspected there were other worlds too, would that make me special? Earth might just be in a grain of sand (which would explain why Nigeria is so hot and dry). 
Just thinking of endless possibilities is amazing. And with all the Titanic and the Moby dick folk tale, 95% of the ocean still remains unexplored. So that mermaid story we all grew up on, might be true after all; because we don’t know what creatures lurk in places yet undiscovered. It’s a wonderful world we live in, one that holds numerous story lines and endings. A world filled with possibilities, we must just open up our minds and know nothing is set in stone. Peace and Love